Friday, November 12, 2010

Pyongyang on the Amstel

Ladies and gentlemen, the long wait is over! For everyone who has ever wondered what it is like to visit the hermit kingdom of North Korea, but couldn't get that elusive visa, wonder no more. Soon to open in the world capital of debauchery: North Korean Restaurant Pyongyang.

They have sky-high hopes of the place too:
"A lot of people from outside of Amsterdam will visit because of the unique experience. The large South-Korean community living in Buitenveldert, part of Amsterdam will mainly visit in the evening. It will be visited by many people to have a first meeting with North-Korea. It will be a meeting point of people interested in culture but also business."


I'm already thinking that it will rival the It's A Small World Afterall ride in Disney Land as the most wonderful place on earth. Where you will be able to savour the exquisite and unique food the people of North Korea, courageous workers that they are, haven't tasted in decades; where the beautiful servant girls dance and sing for the greater glory of the Eternal President, the Supreme Leader and the Brilliant Comrade; where all the ills of the capitalist west are forgotten the moment one takes up the karaoke machine's microphone.

Of course, this new Eden might never see the light of day. They have some very specific requirements for potential employees, including speaking North-Korean and at least a year's worth of experience working in a North Korean restaurant. And with only one North Korean living in the whole city of Amsterdam, (Dutch language alert) it's not looking hopeful. Holding back tears at the thought of this restaurant not opening is almost impossible. Why, oh why Dear Leader, for whom the waves cease their raging and on whom the sun has placed it's brilliance, don't you ride to the rescue of your celestial restaurant? Or send your son, the Brilliant Comrade, on whom the mountains ever smile and to whom the sunflowers look for their guidance, to our aid in this, the hour of our need?

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